in the dead of the night.

i dont give a rat's ass about what you think of me. ok so maybe i do. fuck you.




only during moments like these i feel that i'm most alive. where in the darkness i'm kept company by the silence. where my thoughts hidden in my deepest recesses come alive. it makes everything i say/do seem so.. inconsequential.

5 years ago in my life i was an angsty youth. pigheaded, i didn't listen to my best friends when it mattered the most. like sometimes when you gotta let go, you gotta let go. perhaps things/my life would have turned out in a different manner. skipping the needless pain and misfortune.

the thing is, there really is no point talking about the past. people always say. i think its important to always remind oneself of the stinging memories. it spurs me on, and reminds me to not commit the same stupid things. not most of them anyway. but some of the things i've said and always been maintaining still holds true to this day.

do you think a person no matter how good you think they actually are, could be actually crazy and have insane thoughts? because within every person's dark side, also lies one or a few of their deepest and most intimate fear/secrets? or vice versa, within a person slapped with a life sentence could find it in them to turn over into a new leaf, deperately wanting to give back what they ripped from society. i think, all it takes, is a little bit of faith and trust. a little bit of faith and trust, for one to open up those deepest, most intimate locks within. it may well be the last thing you do in life no matter how long you take to pluck up courage to do it. but at least, at the very least. do it. its what the people around you deserve. those who really care. if you can find one.

ups, and downs.

hows this picture to remind who we were? lol

its true, time does pass quickly when you least expect it. how else could you explain.. suddenly i'm going to be ORDing and my best friends are enlisting/enlisted?

we've been through so many roller coaster rides ever since this crazy bunch of us got together. friends have came and gone, arguments have been aplenty but we hold strong still. wasn't it so much fun when chalets were twice a year? haha. we were actually young then. look! we're 20 now.

the last chalet was fun. maybe even more so cuz its the first we've had together in years, and the last we're gonna have for some time to come(probably). suddenly we rolled back the years.

looking back, and looking on to the bond of brotherhood(pardon the cliche) we have now. i could never have asked for a better bunch of maniacs to call my friends.

and because i'll be sailing and i wont be able to say take care,
take care the three of you! have fun in tekong and come out safe.